#7 APPLIANCES:
As seen in: Maximum Overdrive
Cons of Animation: If you live in the developed world, you have WAY too may appliances...
Pros of Animation: At least you can make a latté while you wait to die.
Scare-o-meter: 4
What appliances lack in raw killing potential they make up for in sheer volume; dvd players are spitting disks at you, the blenders got an attitude and the vacuum really sucks. True mobility is a bit of an impediment, but with Wal-Mart at its back you could have a bit of a panic on your hands.
Thankfully the only thing the west has more of than useless things, are guns, and even a feisty toaster can’t survive a buck shot to the coil...
...but dammit why is the gun shop next to the Best Buy...
#6 DEAD ANIMALS:
As seen in:
Cons of Animation: Bark isn’t always worse than bite
Pros of Animation: You're fine if you've only owned goldfish...
Scare-o-meter: 5
Aside from the extremely creepy appearance of a walking, rotting cat you have to deal with both the emotional distress that comes with seeing your beloved Buster, Fluffy or Nibbles back from the dead; as well the obvious life threatening issues that accompanies an encounter with reanimated animals.
As you curse the neighbours down the street who have owned Great Danes all their life, make your way to the nearest vet ricky-tick and load up on all the syringes, pain killers and dangerous chemicals you can and teach those old dogs some new tricks and bury their fury behinds back in the ground.
#5 HOUSES AND BUILDINGS:
As seen in: The Shining, The Haunting, The Amityville Horror, Monster House
Cons of Animation: It's not a sellers market
Pros of Animation: At least you don’t have to pay the rest of your mortgage...
Scare-o-meter: 6
When buildings come alive and start to mess around with the people inside them, either physically or psychologically, it’s just a matter of getting out. Unfortunately those badass bungalows are pretty damn good at house arrest, and they often slowly ramp up the evil until it’s too late to realize what’s going on.
So hope you didn’t put shutters on the windows, you don’t have a long carpet in the hall and pray you have a cellar that takes you to the backyard. Fire is a good trick...or possibly an explosion but you need to make sure you get out of dodge before you go ripping the gas lines out of the furnace.
#4 MIRRORS:
As seen in: Mirrors
Cons of Animation: Too many things can produce a reflection, and there's bound to be some bad luck involved
Pros of Animation: Smashy smashy...
Scare-o-meter: 7
The thing about mirrors, or reflections in general is you can’t escape; windows, water, metal...unless you have a puffy room made of cotton balls you better grab yourself a hammer a.s.a.p. You're also at the risk of being pulled INTO the mirror...having something come OUT of the mirror and you better be prepared for the climax because there are bound to be some glass cuts.
So band together, hope you have a stupid friend who gazes at his conscious reflection long enough for you to escape, close your eyes, grab some baseball bats, tire irons and crow bars and run to the forest until the threat has passed; but dear god don’t go swimming in the lake...
